Taking back my life

This most recent political season has really done a number on me.  The mudslinging, criticisms, name-calling, threats, and all of that bullshit that was bought by the 2012 Presidential campaign really manifested itself into a prison known as Facebook.  I have never been so pissed off in my life at something that I have very little control over.  It then dawned over me that that the thing out of control is really controlled by people…some of whom I have deemed out of control.  So Facebook….here is my take….fuck you; I am taking back my life starting with cleaning up my friends list.  So where do I draw the line?  Here goes…you qualify for de-friending if:

  • you are a hypocrite because you’re telling me what to do with my life yet, you don’t practice what you preach.
  • you try to force feed your concept of Christianity down my throat by telling me you can’t be my friend because I don’t go to church on your terms.
  • three quarters of your daily posts are politically related links.
  • three quarters of your daily posts are about some absurd deal of the day that only one in a billion have a chance for.
  • you haven’t liked or commented on any of my posts in the past year.
  • you can’t see the humor in some of my posts which means you don’t know me well enough to be my friend.  And quite frankly, I don’t give a shit if you think I am overdoing it.
  • you tell me I am mean, arrogant, a SOB, a wolf, an asshole, etc. and truly mean it.  And don’t lie to me, I have my sources.
  • I don’t ever remember friending you in the first place.
  • you told my wife something she doesn’t know.
  • you told me my comments and/or posts were fucked up, at least 10 times.
  • I reserve the right to exercise my God given talent to click “Unfriend” any damned time, for any “none of your business” reason.

So my friends (and soon to be ex-friends), consider this your one and only warning.  If you would simply take a minute to sit back, smell the roses, take a walk in the park or reflect while taking a dump you might find life to be so much better outside that prison known as Facebook.  Thank you and have a nice evening.

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